I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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