Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
