based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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