she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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