ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
