Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My hand turned me down
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize