I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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