I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
