guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
