Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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