Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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