nut hugger
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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