I wish i was in the wii world.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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