I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
