32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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