Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
