Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
