thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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