I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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