you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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