So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize