Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
