ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize