She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He felt like a one man threesome
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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