Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
