if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Blood and glitter go together right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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