Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
