Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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