so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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