We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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