god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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