I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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