OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
