walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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