Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
