He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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