we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
