WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
