Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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