I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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