Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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