If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize