It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
