Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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