listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
