if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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