Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
