Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
