Already got asked if we're dating
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize