im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
