i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
