I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You ate ashes out of my bong
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
