she looked like the before picture.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
