the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
pray to the hookup gods
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
