You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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