so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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