oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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