It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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