I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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