I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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