making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
