she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
