You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
