Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
being pregnant is like rehab
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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