Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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