so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
